The Legacy of Boarding School
When I completed a professional development course some years ago on boarding school trauma called ‘Privileged Abandonment’ I learned that navigating the challenges of adulthood can be a complex and multifaceted journey for individuals who have experienced boarding school.
Research has uncovered evidence that many ex Boarders suffer some of the similar problems experienced by children who grown up in the care system. Boarders have the added burden of knowing that their schooling was expensive and they were expected to be grateful to be so privileged.
Boarding school experiences vary widely, and the impact on one's adult life can be influenced by various factors, including individual personality type, the quality of relationships formed during time at boarding school, and the overall ethos of in the school environment. Here are some potential opportunities and challenges that an experience at boarding school may leave:
Independence and Self-Reliance: Boarding school often fosters independence and self-reliance as students learn to manage their daily lives without the constant presence of family.
Challenge: Some individuals may struggle to trust others or delegate responsibilities, leading to a reluctance to seek help or collaborate in adulthood.
Interpersonal Relationships: Boarding school can shape strong and enduring friendships, creating a sense of camaraderie and loyalty.
Challenge: Difficulty forming deep connections outside the boarding school context may arise, as individuals may find it challenging to trust or relate to people who haven't shared a similar experience.
Academic Pressure: Exposure to a rigorous academic environment can instill discipline and a strong work ethic, resulting in high academic and career achievements.
Challenge: A potential downside is the development of perfectionistic tendencies or a fear of failure, which may lead to stress and burnout in professional and personal pursuits.
Emotional Resilience: Living away from home can build emotional resilience and coping skills, preparing individuals for life's challenges.
Challenge: Some individuals may struggle to express vulnerability or seek emotional support, as they may have learned to cope independently during their formative years.
Identity Formation: Boarding school experiences contribute to shaping a unique identity, blending aspects of one's familial, cultural, and school background.
Challenge: Some individuals may face an identity crisis, particularly if their boarding school experience significantly differs from their family or cultural background.
Work-Life Balance: Boarding school graduates may possess strong time management skills and a capacity for hard work.
Challenge: A potential downside is a tendency to overcommit or struggle with finding a healthy work-life balance, prioritizing professional success at the expense of personal well-being.
Communication Skills: Boarding school often encourages effective communication, as students learn to express themselves clearly and assertively.
Challenge: In some cases, individuals may struggle with conflict resolution or may avoid confrontation due to past experiences in a structured and sometimes authoritative environment.
It's important to note that individual experiences and responses to boarding school vary widely. While some may embrace the positive aspects of their upbringing, others may grapple with challenges that require ongoing reflection and personal growth. Professional counselling or support can be beneficial for those navigating the complexities of their boarding school legacy in adulthood.